The DM's Mind 

I'm moving

The lack of options on this site have annoyed me. I've decided to move elsewhere with more options. I like to be able to use HTML coding and such, so I'm leaving. you can find my new locations at


http://thedmsmind.blogspot.com/

come join me there.

Hurrican Katrina Aid

I just read about this, and figured I'd do my best to point it out and spread the word. so, without further delay: www.webcomictelethon.com. It is a webcomic telethon to help raise money for aid. go there, participate, be a good person.

Le Fin

Finally finished. My revision has gone smoothly, I rewrote good portions of the thing, re-organized some of the information, added a cute little sidebar... all in all, upgraded my masterpiece. Or, at least I hope it's a masterpiece. When I get home tonight, I get to resubmit it to the publisher/editor guy, and start waiting again. I hate waiting. I'm young and impatient. I'm sure I'll grow out of that eventually, but for now, I'm gonna be pacing for days. Not sure what I'm gonna do with myself in the meantime. Just hope, I guess. I mean, he did give me a chance to do a revision and resubmit, that shows promise. I just don't want to get my hopes up too high, then get rejected. That kind of heartache is never any fun.
Maybe I'll use this time of anxiety and nerve racking impatience to see if I can't learn to draw. I've pondered a webcomic in the past, perhaps now is the time to make a move in that direction. I suppose I could just write the scripts and have one of my several artistic friends draw it for me... it just doesn't feel as fulfilling that way for some reason. I wonder how expensive a decent art program is... although that is probably a cost prevented idea. Well, I'll make that my next little project. See how far that goes.

till next time....

Slow and steady

Well, I've spent a good portion of the day working on my adventure. I have made it halfway through with my revision. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. My subconscious mind knew that would be the case, it's just a matter of convincing my conscious mind of that. The going was kind of slow. I'm re-writing large portions of it. As I've been reading through, I came to the realization that I write too many businuss letters. My writing had a very clinical feel to it, so I've been re-writing to try and get more OOMPH and excitement into it.
I used to get told that I was a very good writer and that I had a lot of emotion in my writing. I really don't feel that I still live up to that. On the technical side of things, I think my writing has improved, but the quality of my writing has degraded. At work, I spend half my day writing emails concerning the purchase of equipment, and asking other departments for ETAs. I'm required to be very precise and proffessional. Emotion is frowned upon, especially since most of the email I send would have anger and impatience as their key emotions. Most of my first draft was written while at work, and I'm afraid that my email mentality and voice carried over to my adventure writing too much.
I'm debating on wheter or not to start another adventure to submit to them immediately after I finish this one or not. I'm not sure what it would be, my muse has not yet struck with my next adventure idea. I really hope it does soon, as my party is finishing up the one they're in. I have to discuss with them whether they are enjoying the current story line and if they want me to continue it or if they are ready to move onto something new. I might even talk one of them into running something so I can play for a while. It's been quite some time since I've gotten a chance to play. While DMing, and writing adventures, I get sooo many character ideas that I would love to play. I just don't ever get a chance to play any of them. That is the biggest curse of DMing. Yes, I can put these characters into the campaign, but I don't get a chance to play through their adventures. Oh well. That's the trade off I guess.
Now, my current adventure is designed to be a lead-in to an ongoing campaign. I think it's a cool idea, but it kinda depends on how the players feel about it. No point in working into a campaign if the players aren't enjoying it. If they do want to continue it, my life's not too hard. I have a general outline for the rest of the campaign. It all just kinda struck me at once as I was writing it, and then I came up with the idea for the opening adventure off of the campaign idea. Quite the opposite of how it usually works for me. I usually start with the small detail and broaden from there. I kinda like starting with the big picture and working out the details from there. It seems to make the process easier going that way. It also seems to make it easier to keep things consistent. I like it. I'll see if I can't work that way more often.
Well, I best head to bed so I can get up for work in the morning. Perhaps I can finish my revision while I'm there. Just gotta remember to keep up the excitement level while I'm writing. maybe I'll think about certain other departments being forced to actually meet their own ETAs.... ooh, now that's exciting!

Till next our paths cross, may your days be filled with joy and growth, love and companionship.

Something a little more on topic

With a title like "DM's Mind" you'd think there would be more to do with gaming on this blog. I realized today that I've done little in that regard as of yet. Well, I'll change that today.
I enjoy DMing. The freedom to create a world and a story to engage my players in is fabulous. I think it's a nice outlet for my story writing. I may not be a published author, but I know that these 3-6 people are experiencing and enjoying my stories.
That said, writing an adventure for publication I am finding to be a much different experience. When I DM, I run off of very loosely written notes. A few NPC stats and notes, and a brief description of rooms, all wrapped together with a spiffy hand drawn map. I'm very much an 'off the cuff' DM. I took the adventure that I am currently running my players through, and I wrote it all out in the format requested by the company I'm submitting it to. I found it to be less than half the size they were requesting. crap. I spent two weeks expanding it. Adding more detail and helpful bits to everyplace I could think to add it. Now, I'd gotten it to fully half the size they were requesting. damn. So, I added a whole nother section to the adventure, and filled it with as much detail as I could possibly squeeze in. Finally, I had met with a reasonable length. Now, I'm going through and doing the first revision of it. Have some notes from the company, and revamping it as they requested. Some writers hate this portion of it. They say it feels like the company is trying to destroy their baby. I'm more open minded than that. I realize that the man giving me advice has infinately more experience at this than I do, and is trying to make a marketable product. I respect this. So, I've met with all the specific things he'd told me needed added/clarified/rewritten, and am about to start the part where I get to go back through every section of the adventure (for the umpteenth time) and see if I can't improve the general quality of writing of the whole thing. I've been putting this part off for two days now. I need to sit down and do it. As a matter of fact, I have it open right now. I've edited two sections before coming over to write this. I want to do this, I really do, but I'm balking at it. Monotany kills me, apparantly. I need to get over that if I want to write for a living. I know this. I'm working on it. I need to self-motivate. Well, we'll see what I can do.

Till next our paths cross, may your days be filled with joy and growth, love and companionship.

Random Ponderings

I don't smoke. I think it's a nasty, expensive habit. Growing up, my parents each smoked a pack a day. They've since cut back drastically, but my opinion of cigarettes has never changed. Quite hypocritcally, I enjoy a good cigar. Mind you, I haven't had a cigar in... two and a half years. I still have the last cigar from the last time I smoked one. It's sitting in my desk drawer next to a calculator and a ruler. I've had this cigar longer than I've had my wife(it's kinda funny to think about it that way because it feels like I've been married forever).
In any case, I was straightening up my den(I call it this, though it's really just a bedroom with a computer and a bunch of swords in it), and ran accross it in my drawer. I got to thinking about the night I'd bought it. The entirety of the story is long, and something I just don't care to dwell on. Suffice it to say that I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for several years, and my two best friends became distant. I can't say I blame them. They were always there for me, but they couldn't stand watching me put up with the abuse I took. There was a breakup, as tends to happen in these stories, and these two wonderful friends and I were begining to bond again. One night we decided to have a boys night out. It had not yet happened, since the breakup, that the three of us got to hang out together again. So, the three of us piled in a van, bought a pack of cigars, drove around talking and singing loudly and off key. It was an excellent night, and the three of us, highschool companions, were reunited once more. It's a night I'll never forget. I don't know if it meant as much to them, but to me it was a return to my real life.
Now, I've got this cigar. It's a reminder to me of how much two men care about it, and the fact that they will always be there for me. It's amazing to me how such a simple thing like a cigar can signify so much, and how randomly stumbling accross one can lead to an entire night of contemplation on what friendship is. I feel very blessed to have two friends as great as them. Any more, I only see them about once a week. One is taking college classes. The other followed my path and got married. Now he and his wife(another highschool friend of ours) have a baby. So, we only see each other once a week when we get together to game.
Baby. That's another major topic. I'm so confused on whether or not I want a kid. My wife, for a long time, wanted one very badly. I would go so far as to say she was obsessed with it. A year and a half later, after trying and not succeeding, large specialist doctor's bills, and more heartache than can be calculated, that obsession has died out. For several reasons, mostly defect in myself, the odds of us conceiving natually are slim. It could happen. But the odds are against it. So, we pretty much know what we have to do to have a kid, and what it will cost to have it done. We could do it, but, the question is, do we still really want to. That's a hard question to answer. I know how badly my wife has always wanted one, but that's not a good reason to have a kid. Making that major of a life decision because someone else wants it(no matter how important of a person that someone else is) is not a good idea. I need to decide if it's what I really want. If I don't, and we do it, it could easily lead to bitterness. Bitterness towards wife and/or kid is really really bad.
I kinda want a kid. I see teh joy it brings to my friend. I am told by all that it is the greatest thing in the world, and nothing will ever bring more joy. It's also a large responsibility. It's a change to my lifestyle I don't know that I like. The loss of freedom, the financialy rearrangement that it entails. These are both big issues. More importantly though, I have a deep seated fear of having a child. I have a bad temper, and very little tolerance for loud noises such as screaming and yelling. I'm afraid I'll get frustrated and hurt my kid. My wife tries to tell me I'm being irrational, and I'm too gentle of a person to such a thing... so on and so forth. I don't think she's ever seen me loose my temper. She doesn't understand. Even if she's right, I'd still be constantly afraid I would, and thus loose out on the joy I should be having at this life I've brought into the world. And, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I want it to happen naturally, be a surprise. Paying to have it done with a turkey baster just doesn't fit my ideas of starting a family. I don't know. It's a large topic. I don't think I could ever get it all out, I don't know what all is there to let out. I hate not understanding how I feel. Unfortunately that seems to have become more common as I've gotten older (not that I have much room to say that, being only 24). But, until I get myself figured out, I don't think a kid is in the immediate future. For now, I just appologize to my wife and tell her I'm not ready. She's not happy with that answer, but she realizes that she can't really get another until the time is right.
well, that's this morning's thoughts. Till next our paths cross, may your days be filled with joy and growth, love and companionship.

and so it begins

...and so it all begins. I decided I would finally step out and make my mark on internet. This is not to say that I've never used the internet before, but that I've never contributed to said community. For some reason, lately, contributing to the community has been important to me. As I'm sure the title suggests (at least to some) I'm a gamer. I play Dungeons and Dragons. I DM. I've always enjoyed picking up new books, and discussing the game. It is a passion of mine. However, six months ago, or so, I started using the forums at the Wizards of the Coast website. I learned alot, and hopefully, expanded a few other peoples knowledge. A bit over a year ago, I started playtesting for a gaming company(don't ask, I won't tell, signed liscenses, not screwing this up, I love it). These two things made me realize that I wanted to contribute to the gaming community. More than just an opinion or a rules interpretation. So, I've started writing. I've written an adventure that I am currently trying to get published. Adventures are something I write anyways(I DM), so I figured this was a good place to start. Perhaps someday, if I have any success with this, I'll upgrade to writing other types of supplements. This site, I hope, will also contribute to the community.
D&D isn't my only passion. Like most people, I have several. Or perhaps having several is unusual, and I'm just unusually passionate. I'm passionate about writing in general. I've had no real success with that, but like any artist, failure will not deter me. I have a hard time writing novel length material. I enjoy writing short stories, and in highschool I used to write poetry, but I've kinda out grown that. Just not my bag anymore. My real dream is to be a writer. If I'm lucky I'll be able to publish both conventional writing as well as gaming material. While that's mostly dreaming, I will chase my dreams.
My other passion is my wife. I love her with great passion. She's caring and understanding. She encourages me to chase my dreams. She's always beside me, supporting me, whatever endeavour I'm undertaking. She's wonderful(I'd marry nothing less). Best of all, I've converted her into a geek and a gamer. Love her.
And so, now you know my passions. Hopefully this will turn into something more. I will attempt to write in this daily, but I make no gaurantees. I even hope to one day add a webcomic. Mind you, I don't draw all that well, but we'll see what happens. I've got links to the webcomics I read on the page, enjoy those if you don't already.
Till next our paths cross, may your days be filled with joy and growth, love and companionship.